OUR STORY

Life and Love with HIV is a blog and online community dedicated to de-stigmatizing sexuality and relationships among women, partners, and couples living with HIV by shifting the focus from risk to pleasure.

Come for the blog, stay for the conversation.

Tag #lifeandlovewithhiv so we can find and feature your stories.

#Révélation

A campaign by the French non-profit AIDES that had one important message:

People living with HIV have a lot to share. They can't share HIV.

2015—the year we had a revolutionary idea.

The initial idea for creating Life and Love with HIV came about in the fall of 2015.

A group of us (some women living with HIV, some researchers) were working together on a Canadian study about the sexual health and rights of women living with HIV. Over the years, we talked a lot about sex and love and how these areas of life were absent from most conversations about sexual health. So we decided to study it!

But we knew we wanted to do more than just study it. And so, we looked at what online resources existed to support women. Turns out, not a lot. We did, however, find all kinds of sexuality resources for women with other health conditions. Frankly, this didn’t surprise us. Women’s pleasure is already taboo. Navigating pleasure with HIV, in our societies, can feel almost impossible!

That's when we began mobilizing around our sexual wants and desires.

A new era of HIV.

Just as our idea for the site began to take shape, medical advances ushered in a new era of HIV.

Research shows that people with HIV who are on treatment and have an undetectable viral load can live just as long as those without the disease. They also have effectively NO risk of sexually transmitting the virus to an HIV-negative partner.

This ground-breaking science inspired both a hashtag (#UequalsU, which means Undetectable = Untransmittable) and a movement to end HIV and HIV-related stigma, led by the Prevention Access Campaign and thousands of activists and community organizers around the globe.

With this amazing medical progress, and encouraged by the many grassroots campaigns that came before us, we thought, now more than ever, we have an opportunity to change the usual narrative about sexual health in the context of HIV.

Tired of discourses that focus only on risk and transmission? (We are.)

We believe there is nowhere near enough research and support on HIV and sexuality beyond risk and transmission.

In our study, 52% of women living with HIV say sex is an important part of their life. Yet 79% of women are not completely satisfied with their sexual lives and one in five report seldom to any pleasure during sex.

The relationship context, mental health, and oppressive social conditions—for example, violence, sexism, and the stigmatization and criminalization of HIV—play an important role in outcomes.

These findings are largely consistent across decades and countries, which led us to the following conclusion: When women are not able to fully and pleasurably experience their sexuality, on their own terms, it's not because they're sexually dysfunctional—it's because they live in a dysfunctional world.

Creating a supportive social environment for love to flourish.

We believe we can change the world through digital storytelling. Hence, the creation of this website.

Life and Love with HIV is a space for women, partners, and couples living with HIV everywhere to share their experiences of love, romance, and sexuality. In creating our own stories, in our own voices, with our own words, our goal is to reclaim our sexual rights around the world.

But Beyoncé wasn’t built in a day! Turning this idea into action happened over the course of three years. We hosted several sex-positive workshops with women. We also scoured the web, collecting what little resources we could find. And we started community building, eventually recruiting a diverse team of writers from around the world with the help of social media.

What began as a small grassroots, volunteer-run effort in British Columbia, Canada, slowly transformed into the global platform it is today.

2018—the year we launched.

The site was launched 23-27 July 2018 at the 22nd International AIDS Conference (AIDS 2018) in Amsterdam, Netherlands.

Exciting things are coming, and we hope you’ll join us on this journey to promote a more just and sex-positive world for all people living with HIV!

6 feminist principles we live by in our work

1. Pleasure

When it comes to sex and HIV, research and support tends to focus on risk. We aim to counterbalance this narrative in our work by talking about and studying the positive aspects of sexuality and relationships.

2. Anti-Oppressiveness

Focusing on the positives doesn’t mean ignoring injustices. In discovering and illuminating pleasure, we also remain attentive to and highly critical of the social and political forces that constrain its expression.

3. Diversity

People—and their bodies, sexualities, desires, relationships, perspectives, and choices—are profoundly diverse. We believe in honouring and sharing people’s experiences in their real-life fullness.

4. Intersectionality

True diversity is intersectional. Our work acknowledges people's multiple, overlapping identities that create richness in experience, as well as various forms of oppression, stigma, and violence that work together to influence lives.

5. Social change

This project was born out of one simple desire—to make a difference in the quality of our lives. Through it, we aim to amplify community efforts to de-stigmatize HIV, de-criminalize non-disclosure, and de-pathologize and de-marginalize sexuality and relationships.

6. GIPA/MIPA

We value the greater and meaningful involvement of people living with HIV/AIDS (GIPA/MIPA) as we are the experts of our own lives. As such, we are leaders and partners in all stages of this work, along with our key allies.

LEGAL INFORMATION AND TERMS OF USE

February 2018, Available online here

Welcome to Life and Love with HIV. We want to make this community safe and enjoyable for everyone. So we have set a few rules to follow. Please read below our Terms of Use carefully. We may update these Terms from time to time, so please review them regularly. If you continue to browse and use this Site, you are agreeing to these Terms and any changes made therein. This is a legal agreement. If you do not accept these Terms, please do not use this Site.

Life and Love with HIV consists of material provided under the domain, www.lifeandlovewithhiv.ca (hereinafter referred to as the “Site”). The Site was designed by a diverse group of women living with HIV and allied sex and relationship researchers at Simon Fraser University’s Faculty of Health Sciences, in collaboration with ViVA and the International Community of Women Living with HIV.

All material provided on the Site is intended for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the advice of a qualified professional.

Reserved Rights and Grant of Limited License

(a) Any intellectual property on the Site and all rights thereto, including copyright, is owned by the person who created it (the “Creator”).

(b) As a user of this Site, you are granted a limited license to republish information without prior written consent for your own personal, non-commercial use only, provided i) the information is not modified and ii) you ensure proper credit with a link back to the original URL (i.e., This article was written by [Author’s Name] and originally published on Life and Love with HIV).

Community Guidelines

(a) We encourage thoughtful and respectful conversations on the Site. Please be courteous to everyone, as if you were having a face-to-face discussion.

(b) The following is prohibited: (i) Offensive and hate-filled content on the basis of HIV status, race, gender, sexual orientation, age, disability, country of origin, and so forth; (ii) Insulting or personally attacking people; (iii) Bullying, harassment, threats, discrimination, or stigma producing comments; (iv) Vulgar, profane, abusive, or hateful language; (v) Material that may reasonably construed as unlawful; (vi) Soliciting, advertising or marketing, except in designed spaces; (vii) Disclosure of personal information about yourself or anyone else, such as phone number, home address, or email.

(c) We reserve the right to take down or not publish any content that does not comply with these rules. We will also remove an article in full if, for whatever reason, the contributing author(s) no longer wish to have their story published on this Site.

Submissions and Privacy

(a) We collect information from you when you voluntarily:

Subscribe to the Life and Love with HIV newsletter. This newsletter contains various updates, stories, research, and resources related to sexuality and relationships in the context of HIV. We use a third-party server (MailChimp) to store the information you submit when you sign up for the newsletter. By providing this information, you are agreeing to receive emails from Life and Love with HIV. If at any time you would like to unsubscribe, please contact us (info@lifeandlovewithHIV.ca) and we will promptly remove you from ALL correspondence.
Send us an email, fill out a Google form, or submit an article, comment, or any other content for publication. Usernames will appear with published content. Email addresses will NOT be shared publicly and are only accessible to Life and Love with HIV. Please also be aware that all blog contributors (whether providing original articles or quotes) will be asked to read and agree to a “Contributor Agreement.” If at any time you would like to remove any content you have published on Life and Love with HIV, please contact us (info@lifeandlovewithHIV.ca) and we will promptly remove it.
Fill out a survey. We may conduct surveys to monitor user satisfaction, inform the development of new resource, or evaluate website effectiveness. Your participation is 100% voluntary and no personally identifying information will be shared publicly. If draws or prizes are involved, email addresses will be collected and used to contact winners.

(b) We do not presently use an SSL certificate. However, we regularly employ Malware Scanning to ensure the ongoing security of Life and Love with HIV.

(c) The Internet is not a secure medium and privacy cannot be ensured. Internet e-mail is vulnerable to interception and forgery. Simon Fraser University will not be responsible for any damages you or any third party may suffer as a result of the transmission of confidential information that you make to Simon Fraser University through the Internet, or that you expressly or implicitly authorize Simon Fraser University to make, or for any errors or any changes made to any transmitted information.

No Advice or Warranties

(a) You shall be fully responsible for any consequences resulting from your use of the Site. The information on the Site is provided for educational or information purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, whether medical, legal, or otherwise.

(b) Simon Fraser University does not guarantee the quality, accuracy, completeness or timeliness of the information on the Site. While efforts are made to verify the information provided, the Site should not be assumed to be error free. Furthermore, some information on the Site has been provided by third parties and has not necessarily been verified by Simon Fraser University.

(c) Simon Fraser University, nor any of the partners, funders, editors, writers, researchers, or volunteers involved in Life and Love with HIV, shall not be responsible for any direct, indirect, special, incidental or consequential damage or any other damages whatsoever and howsoever caused, arising out of or in connection with the use of the Site or in reliance on the information available on the Site, including the loss of use, lost data, lost business profits, business interruption, personal injury, or any other personal or pecuniary loss, whether the action is in contract, tort (including negligence) or other tortious action.

No Endorsement

(a) The Site may contain links to other sites. These links are provided as references to help you identify and locate other Internet resources that may be of interest. Parties other than Simon Fraser University independently develop and maintain these other sites. Therefore, Simon Fraser University does not assume responsibility for the accuracy or appropriateness of the information contained at such sites. In providing links to other sites, Simon Fraser University is not acting as a publisher or disseminator of the material contained on these other sites and does not seek to control the content of, or maintain any type of editorial control over, such sites.

(b) A link to another site should not be construed to mean that Simon Fraser University is associated with or is legally authorized to use any trademark, trade name, logo or copyrighted symbol that may be reflected in the link or the description of the link to such other sites. In addition, the mention of another party or its product or services on the Site should not be construed as an endorsement of that party or its product or service.

Trade Marks

Certain words, phrases, names, designs or logos used on the Site may constitute trade marks, service marks or trade names of Simon Fraser University or other entities. The display of any such marks or names on the Site does not imply that Simon Fraser University or other entities have granted a license or authorization of any kind to use such marks or names.

Access and Interference

In using the Site, you agree that you will not use any device, software or routine to interfere or attempt to interfere with the proper working of the Site. You agree that you will not use any robot, spider, other automatic device, or manual process to impose an “unreasonable or disproportionately large load” on SFU’s infrastructure. An “unreasonable or disproportionately large load” is one that prevents other members of the University community from gaining fair and equitable access to web-based systems and resources.

Computer Viruses

While every effort is made to ensure that all information provided on the Site does not contain computer viruses, you should take reasonable and appropriate precautions to scan for computer viruses and should ensure that you have a complete and current backup of the applicable items or information contained on your computer system. You should pay specific attention to some of the newer viruses that have been written to automatically execute when an infected word processing document is loaded into certain word processing programs.

Choice of Law

The laws of the Province of British Columbia and the laws of Canada applicable therein shall govern as to the interpretation, validity and effect of this document, notwithstanding any conflict of laws provisions of your domicile, residence or physical location. You hereby consent and submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of the Province of British Columbia in any action or proceeding instituted under or related to your use of the Site.

Web Analytics and Remarking

(a) This Site uses web analytics tools to help analyze how the Site is used and to improve visitors’ online experience. These tools work by tagging web pages to capture a limited amount of data (including the internet protocol (“IP”) address of the computer, device or network being used to access the pages). This data is used for aggregate reporting purposes. None of this data can be used by Simon Fraser University or the service provider to identify you.

(b) This Site also uses remarketing tools, which enable Simon Fraser University or other entities to serve you with relevant advertisements outside of the Simon Fraser University domain. Web analytics and remarketing tools work by using cookies (small files stored on your computer’s web browser). You may refuse the use of cookies by selecting the appropriate setting on your browser (please note that if you do this you may not be able to use the full functionality of this website). Some service providers also allow you to opt out of their use of cookies for advertising purposes, e.g. Google Ad’s Settings Page.

Responsible Use of Information Technology

Learn about copyright, what it covers, and how you can get permission to use someone’s copyrighted material.

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Our Story