My love life has never been smooth, actually many are the times that I've declared to have found my Mr. Right, only for the relationship to go south. To be fair, I have kissed a pond of frogs, yeah! That much I have been sampling all along. I don't know how much sampling is supposed to be done, or does it have a limit? Or you just sample until you can't sample anymore. I'm a member of three dating sites, that is two for people living positively and one for the general public, but all this in great search for a perfect match.

I joined the second dating site in 2022, this was after being conned in the first dating site and so I thought it's time to find me a man. I signed in, wrote on my profile the normal stuff – age, height, weight, hobbies, and at the end it read "I am a bit broke, so am looking for a financially stable man”. I must say ever since I turned 31, it has really turned my view of life! I walk more, and I recently joined hiking clubs, I have hiked Mt. Kenya twice, but am yet to summit the mountain, sleeping warrior and many others, each time I hike I feel rejuvenated and refreshed!

"To be fair, I have kissed a pond of frogs, yeah!"

Back to my love saga, after exchanging number and blocking a few, I finally met someone, let's call him Jill. He is dark and handsome, plus he got these black beards accompanied with some dimples, damn he was handsome except that he was not tall. After texting and calling for about two months, we decided it was time we met. Jill traveled to my home town, and I was joined by my cousin on this blind date – though I never informed her that it was the first time we were meeting physically. I actually lied to her on purpose, I didn't want to worry her much, so I requested her to join me for a lunch date together with my friend. We spent around two hours before he headed back to Nairobi, Kenya where he resided. It was a three-hour journey. After our first meeting, it was my turn to go visit him, after one month, I had now returned to Nanyuki where I work and reside, and so I traveled for five hours to arrive at his residence.

On arrival he was to pick me up. As the bus we boarded went further from the city, the more the air and the buildings changed. I received the shock of my life! Sewer smell, smoke pollution, and there were small black rivers everywhere, rivers of sewage, small iron steel houses… we walked for a while, jumping over this and that; he also asked for my phone and bag to make sure they were safe from snatchers. Finally, we arrived at his place. It was a one room, square in shape, two corners occupied the bed, near the door was the kitchen, at the middle was his working space (I forgot to mention he works online) – and the last corner had an old silver grayish broken fridge, in it there was two tomatoes and a bottle of soda (his preference – coke).  I requested to take a bath, but there was no water, so he suggested I take a bath the next day. For supper he had made some ugali (made from maize flour more of soft cake but from corn) and some beef. Later I asked to use the bathroom, I was offered a basin as he said the toilet was a mess since it was communal. Although the night was not as I expected, that night I had the sex of a lifetime! The young man was energetic maybe from the porridge I had brought him and yes, I carried porridge in a flask for five hours hahaha, I could not let it go to waste, never!

"Although the night was not as I expected, that night I had the sex of a lifetime!"

The next morning, which was a Saturday, we took breakfast, and I finally got to take a bath. After that, we went out for a stroll, there I had the chance to ask if he had read the part in my profile that read 'must be financially stable '.  His response was "I am stable only that I moved here during COVID -19 wave, but now am back to my feet”. After the long walk and meeting some of his friends, we went back to his cubicle room.

Let me tell you, I thought I had seen it all but not yet. There was a loud bang at the door, he answered the door and pushed someone out as he asked, "Who invited you here?!" I could hear a lady's voice shouting back "Let me in!" She must know you're a cheat!" The lady went to the window behind his room, banged it angrily and shouted again, "He is a cheat! He has been cheating on you with me!"

There was some commotion outside, the other tenants came out of their rooms. Some even peeped at the door to see my reaction, but I never dared to get out, I pulled the curtain down so no one could see me. After a while he came back, he kept on going out, coming in, I observed his body language and I could tell the young lady had awoken his demons. I was afraid for my life, they exchanged words for a while and later things cooled down. He told me that the young lady was her ex, and jealous that he had moved on.

"It feels good to not hide medication, to talk of HIV freely, to remind each other of medication time."

The next day I had to leave. I felt I was not safe, but he asked if he could come with me for two days. I said yes, and that was a mistake of a lifetime. He stayed at my place for two weeks, and after two months he felt it was better if we lived together. At first I was hesitant about that since I didn't know him much, but I called one of my few friends, she said if I don't try, I will never know his worth. After one week he moved into my place, and we have been living together for two months now. He is caring, loving, he cooks, he does the dishes and helps with the laundry, but he can be controlling if given a chance and for this I had already kicked him out once. He begged me so much that I gave him a second chance, just to make sure I am not making a mistake.

Just between you and me, it's like I am waiting for him to mess up so that I can kick him out for good, or I am just afraid of settling down due to my previous experiences with men... But I must say it feels good to not hide medication, to talk of HIV freely, to remind each other of medication time. Let's wait and see where this one will lead!